Author: Mary Ellen Mullholand, President – Eperture

Over the
years of working at a nursing care facility, I often heard this question from
distraught family members. They spoke in quiet voices and told the story of mom
who became like a ghost of the person that had cared for them their whole life
and then there was this new person that looked different, acted different and
just was not “their” mom.

Dementia and
its symptoms often are hidden or ignored by family. This reaction inhibits
families from reaching out for advice and support and often leaves the
nominated caregiver with feelings of guilt and placing blame on those with
dementia like it was their fault. I often heard families cry with the summary
statement: “then there is the feeling of relief when the senior is placed in
care”. There is no graceful way through it as it is a very complicated illness
and the fallout to the entire family network is earth-shattering!

As the company that developed RememberStuff™, we are hoping that those experiencing dementia and those
who are facing the elder years  with no
signs of dementia but thinking about what they can do to slow or stop memory
loss, take the opportunity to use this software to record their wishes about
their care should they find that one day you cannot take care of yourself. RememberStuff
can hold many a set of daily activities that you enjoy and help you recall how
to participate or lists of directions for family if your memory is no longer
strong. Think of RememberStuff as the device to help you stay engaged and to
help those who will need to make the weighty decisions for your care.

Finally, families should embrace the person who is in their
care as they are and to do so in the moment not the memory of the past. You
will find joy and a treasure chest of in-the-moment experiences. Soon you will
erase the ghost of who your loved one was and ask, “who are you now?” Review
our website and learn more about RememberStuff™ ( and learn to
navigate through the changes caused by dementia.